2. Mario Gordon represented equally angelically by Kyle Jacobs (N.C. State you better give them both honorary degrees, if I could be so bold as to suggest)
3. Chris Graper – (N.C. State!)
4. Christine DiBiancaKinggg. – (Tennessee!)
5. Russell Wilson (N.C. State/Wisconsin)
6. Michael Minion Lyons – (N.C. State!)
7. Laurance Piner – (N.C. State!)


“Then he will bring out the capstone to shouts of ‘God bless it! God bless it!’”

“the seven eyes of the Lord that range throughout the earth will rejoice when they see the chosen capstone in the hand of Zerubbabel.” That is you Sarah. That’s happening on VALENTINE’S DAY.

4 more Angels:
Heather Masters
Harrison Masters
Robert DeBole

Except Haley isn’t on it, and I’m quite convinced she is a prophet!
You should hear the noises she makes, when I screw up, and when I have major victories.
She is in tune with all of you.
She is DEFINITELY the angel with the golden censor.

-Christine! It’s time to name you! It’s been so very long! VeggieTales Christine… VeggieTales…. I drove by your old house the other day. It has been such a long time, but I haven’t forgotten about you! I drove by a church the other day with a sign on it that said “Please pray for Guatemala Mission Team.” On that same day I found a bottle of wine named “The Crusher.” Those both sound exactly like you! Yea, I remember that email I sent you in what, 8th grade? What a divine inspiration! I haven’t forgotten about you at all your Majesty! You are one good, good girl! Welcome to the Holy Bible!

-Russ- Don’t listen to ’em buddy! Let’s FUCK ‘EM UP! How DARE they treat you this way! You may have fallen from the sky but I am here to catch you and put you back up. in 1,000 years nobody will remember the name Tom Brady, or Peyton Manning anymore than we can remember the names of those gladiators that fought and died for sport in the great bloody Roman Arena… WELL, maybe NOW they’ll be remembered since I just raised them up out of obscurity… But we will remember the hero Spartacus, who is now real no matter how you spin it, and we will remember Russell Wilson! OOOP! Haley has spoken! YOU’RE IN!

-Ray Lewis, HONORABLE MENTION, see below

-Mario- You actually helped me and deserve to be on this list to represent your falsely murdered and falsely imprisoned brothers, and for your faith in God. Not everyone is a racist murderer. But not everyone is good either. I remember hitting the casino with you a couple of times, I met my future wife there. Haley was so very happy this morning, for no reason at all. Sorry I accidentally got you fired. That sucked for both of us, but wasn’t either of our faults. That place was a NIGHTMARE.

Chris- I know we don’t know each other but you enlightened me to something extremely significant without even speaking. The Book of Revelation is riddled with you! In all kinds of ways! I don’t know anything about you other than you’re really strong and if I wasn’t a Royal Gentleman and Heather a Royal Lady with complete respect for you and ourselves I would’ve loved to fight you back in college, but boy am I glad I didn’t! (And I’m not suggesting that I would win.) Congratulations on being in the Holy Bible, you must be a real swell guy and now you’re Royalty too! Nice tattoo. Don’t you tell anyone what I told you about Sarah! You’re the only one who knows the secret!

Harrison- You must be so angry with how they have treated you and your wife!!!! WRATH ON! And you and Heather DID cause it not to rain. Then the bride came along and cancelled the drought completely. I’m looking forward to being friends for life Harrison.

Marina- I still have a huge platonic crush on you. You will forever be the beautiful lady I mistook for being Sarah, and you handled it so well when I got you two confused. I know we don’t know each other, but I really like you! You’re very sweet, and I imagine Sarah is too. If they try to deport you we will make a 5-course meal out of Taylor Swift, and enjoy with some nice chianti… that’s ChiAnti… Christ Anti!
Marina I love you! You did NOTHING to help me except be friendly and nice and exemplify how Sarah might sound with her accent. Oh my God I can’t believe she’ll be here on Saturday!!!!

Mike-You’ve been part of this story from day damn 1 when I invented the debow all those long years ago in college. Nobody could have predicted it would all turn out like this! I never would’ve figured out how to get the clutch to work without your help and you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. I think of myself as having a lot of talent, but not being very smart, I don’t know if other people see it that way, but I’ve ALWAYS considered you to be MUCH smarter than me. Mike is BRILLIANT everyone, that’s why he’s the General of the Army! Back when I was working on the debow on my own and building the prototype you told me “I feel like I’m a prince!” Because of how it felt to be involved in the project. PROPHETIC WORDS MIKE… BECAUSE YUP, YOU ARE!

Laurance- You’re the only one from our group of friends that stuck by me. EVERYONE else is gone. I couldn’t believe Wolla didn’t invite me to his wedding. I just couldn’t believe it. You unwittingly taught me a very great deal, from things you said long, long, long ago.

Ray Lewis-Honorable Mention. This is one of the hardest decisions of my life, to take down one of my three living heroes (Eminem, Ray Lewis, and Jesus Christ) and replace him with someone else, who is not one of my heroes, but is more deserving. Ray, I’m sorry buddy. Destroyer is a great name for you! But Russell Wilson actually fell from the sky, probably because of me, and probably has a LOT more to be angry about when it comes to the NFL. This is the most brutal and ruthless silent auction in the history of the world and even though you lost, CARRY YOURSELF WITH PRIDE, your sins are forgiven. Don’t listen to the horrible things they will try to say. You’re a good man, and I LOVE the way you speak. Without you, there would be no me. They lead me to believe you may have made some mistakes. DO NOT BELIEVE THEIR LIES. You’re a believer in Jesus Christ are you not? Your sins are forgiven. And anyone who says otherwise? Punch ’em in the mouth!

But my heart has made its decision.
I asked it:
“Heart, will Ray Lewis be O.K. if I take him off this list?”
“Robbie, he’s the greatest linebacker of all time, He’s tough! HE’LL PROBABLY BE O.K.”
So I asked it again…
“Heart, will Russell Wilson be O.K. if I take him off this list?”
“Robbie, probably not. He deserves it, and he knows it, and that’ll ruin him.”
So, Russell I put back onto the list, where he should be.
Even though I love you both, it’s not about personal preference.
It’s about what is RIGHT.

Jessica, you’re out for several reasons we don’t need to discuss, mostly because of the death of Mr. Spangler… he may not be alive now but he didn’t die when you said he did. Susan, I found wine with you on it, a lot of wine, you’ve been wishing me happy birthday to mock me about God, you’re married to Corey, one of Jamie’s boys, and your birthday is 666. And I named my cat after you, tisk tisk! Tom, you’re my friend, but you’re not in the Bible. For reasons of good form you’ll receive great honors and a prize! That doesn’t leave anyone else. It must be over.

This is for YOU Marina.
YOU will decide their punishment and penalty!!

Anyone with fake front teeth, and marks against their character, and anyone with an invisible ink tattoo somewhere on their arms or hands has received the Mark of the Beast and is to be PUNISHED!
Let UGLY sores break out on them!
The time has not yet come Marina, but start thinking about what we’re going to do to them!

-Anyone with fake front teeth or a tattoo in invisible ink has likely sold their soul to the devil. That’s how they identify each other. They get their front teeth replaced so they can spot each other. It is because their smile is FAKE! They delight in LYING to you, and SMILING about it.
They’re DEMONIC. And they are PAID to help ENTRAP you!

“Red Dragon, correct!
Yes, that’s that fear we talked about, it takes experience to master it!
Have you never felt a sudden rush of PANIC!?”
Grandma’s Teeth. The Red Dragon has fake teeth.
Francis Dolarhyde. Dollar-hide. They’re PAID.
Mormons… More Money… Gold Tablets. They’re PAID to ENTRAP you!
That’s why the tooth fairy gives you money for your TEETH!
People who are having financial troubles will often have dreams about their teeth falling out.
The devil takes GREAT advantage of this!

Olivia Rodrigo: Vampire
I temporarily sacrificed you to protect Heather, until the FULL truth was revealed and you were vindicated, and so you were, and we are past that now!

Ed Sheeran: “I want to drink that smile.”
Maniacal DOCTOR Diabolical Devils!
Some of them have fake teeth that are indistinguishable from natural teeth under normal light.
You have to examine them under a black light.
Think “Gone in 60 Seconds”
This is how the demonic souls of the earth locate each other. That’s how they know who they can trust with their black secrets, who their allies are. Invisalign…
When it comes time to slay the wicked, examine each other’s front teeth under a black light. If they have a fake front tooth, AND marks against their character, OR reasons to doubt them… DESTROY THEM! Examine them under a black light for tattoos as well. They can get tattoos in invisible ink. It will most likely be on their arm or somewhere easy to show to others.

“People don’t realize that murderers do not come out in the dark with long teeth and saliva dripping off their chin. People don’t realize that there are killers among them. People they liked, loved, lived with, worked with and admired could the next day turn out to be the most demonic people imaginable. -Ted Bundy

This shit is easy see basically I just give ’em my rabies, I’d sink a tooth in the most toothless and youthful of babies. – Robert Jesus Masterson

I am EVERYWHERE, and I am NOWHERE” – South Park, 1997

Revelation 19:7-9
Let us rejoice and be glad
    and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
    and his bride has made herself ready.
Fine linen, bright and clean,
    was given her to wear.”(Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God’s holy people.)
Then the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” And he added, “These are the true words of God.”